mistake: not admitting to my mistakes

I don’t like making mistakes. I feel stupid when I make a mistake. I want to correct the mistake as soon as I realize the mistake I have made. I’ve been known to cry over a 92% on a paper because it wasn’t up to my standards. I’ve pushed people away because I don’t think I deserve them. I run away from my problems because I’m scared I’m going to make the same mistake.
As I continue to think about this and the mistakes I’ve made, it’s tough to live with the consequences of the mistakes. Thank goodness – God forgives. He forgives and forgets. Forgiving someone means not remembering the mistake. If God remembered my mistakes, I wouldn’t receive the grace He’s so graciously given to me!
My career doesn’t really leave much grace when mistakes are made: if an incorrect drug is given to an inappropriate patient or an inappropriately calculated drug is administered – it could mean the difference between life and death. Whereas in a customer service job, it may be the loss/gain of money. Maybe – this is one of the reasons I can’t stand making mistakes. Mistakes have dire consequences in my career field. Yes, I have given patients the incorrect dose of a medication. Yes, I’ve incorrectly administered a medication to a patient. Yes, I’ve had a patient die on my watch.
I take mistakes personally. I don’t sit back and say ‘oh well’ to the mistakes I’ve made. Tears fill my eyes when I make a mistake. Hurt fills my heart when I’m the reason for the mistake.
I will continue to make mistakes – please alert me to these mistakes and give me grace.

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