mistake: erring on the side of nothing

Over the years, I’ve seen people in my life receive a gift with enthusiasm in their voice and expressions of extreme happiness on their face. Within a few short days, the goodwill pile receives the gift or the gift is re-gifted to another person. Since I’ve witnessed this event being done over and over again – I have been guilty of erring on the side of not doing anything as opposed to erring on the opposite. I don’t buy friends/family presents because I don’t want them to end up unused by my loved ones. I’ve realized this has been a selfish act. I err on the side of not sending a ‘thank you’ card because I think it’s too late or the other person will think it’s stupid and unnecessary. I err on the side of not telling people about my life because I don’t want to be laughed at or criticized for the stupid things I have done. I err on the side of keeping silent because I don’t want to get hurt. I err on the side of not visiting people because I’m scared of asking them and hearing their response (this ties in with fear of rejection)

What if I started erring on the side of doing too much: I start sending birthday cards even to those people I’ve only met once or twice, sending thank you cards to those people who make me smile, purchasing presents for people whether or not the present is used by them, being vulnerable to other people even if that means others will laugh and criticize me, showing up at people’s houses just to sit and chat?

I’ve been guilty of erring on the side of not doing anything in order to protect myself. If I start erring on the side of exposing myself: I will be criticized, people will laugh, money will be spent frivolously, gifts may be trashed or re-gifted, rejection will occur, and people will give me ‘funny’ looks!

Bring it on!

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