commitment issues

I think I have commitment issues; I don’t make commitments very often, but when I do I take them very seriously; when I was a young lass, I didn’t commit to any one thing; I fluttered around- playing different sports every season and even two sports or two teams in one season; friends were the same, I never really committed to friendships either- when I was with someone, that person was my friend – I didn’t call them when I was away from them, but I thought about them often; I would have rather been with that person rather than call them on the phone; then I spread my wings and flew to Arizona for college – didn’t really know what commitment was at that point- nope, I don’t keep in touch with my college roommate even though lots of life changing things took place during that year; went to Maine for the summertime; discussed plans and committed to bunking with a friend of mine from first year for the second year of college – that fell through and it hurt; I scrounged up another place to stay – wasn’t particularly fond of the roommate situation there: loved the house and housemates, not the roommate; then I moved home because I didn’t want to sign a lease on another place; then traveled to UC Davis and signed a lease with a girlfriend for the first year, then my last year of college i signed a year lease in a 5 bedroom house, after that first year, we didn’t sign a lease, we continued to live in the house month to month; when i moved out, i took advantage of caring for an apartment of two guys who were off serving our nation in the Navy, at this point I decided to travel to Australia: I remember booking the plane tickets- for me that was a big step – I was committing to traveling; when I returned from Australia – I was deemed ‘feather’ because I would randomly arrive at the houses of friends (Shingle Springs, Sacramento, Davis, Salinas, Santa Barbara, Palm Springs, Ogden, etc) I floated from house to house, city to city : then I moved to Palm Springs (nope, didn’t sign a lease); in 2011, I was accepted into Nursing School – this would be the first time I sign a lease in 6 years! I locked it in for 15 months – I remember that moment! scary and exciting all at the same time! – fast forward to now: I can’t commit to a work schedule – I have one job to get done every month – set my own hours, do the work on my time, and flutter in and out of work as I want- they’d allow me to work 40 hours a week, but I’m not committed to it; even now and buying plane tickets- it’s hard to commit to that;
I think I have commitment issues


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