mistakes

• I don’t like to make mistakes. If I make a mistake, I try to correct the mistake as soon as I am aware of the mistake. I feel so guilty when I make a mistake, I can’t fix it, and I have to fess up to my mistake. It’s no easy task. If there’s a chance that I will fail or make a mistake – I usually don’t tell other people about the task at hand. For example, when I started applying for nursing schools, I didn’t tell anyone I was applying because I didn’t want them to ask in a couple of months whether or not I was accepted. The first year, I was rejected. It was a tough blow for me because I don’t like to admit that “I’m not good enough” to get in. I take things like this personally – very personally. I remember that first year – I blamed it on so many other things: never wanting to admit that it was ‘me’ they rejected. It wasn’t because of any other thing!
We all make mistakes. We are all going to fail. I will make mistakes. It’s a slow progress to accept the mistakes I have made and the consequences I have to endure because of them. I can’t change overnight – I can only hope to endure the mistakes I make will not have lifelong consequences. Mistakes such as an incorrect medication or an incorrect calculation of a dose of a medication could mean the loss of a life – that’s one of the reasons I don’t like to make mistakes. Some of the mistakes I make have minor consequences –whereas other mistakes could mean the difference between life and death. However, mistakes will happen.
The Amish bless the person who makes a mistake. This sounds absurd to the ‘typical American’ to bless the person who made a mistake, but I believe the Amish are onto something here. We all make mistakes, and we all need grace and blessing when we make the mistake.
I don’t know how to not protect myself while I continue to make mistakes – this is a humbling time

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