change

if you’re anything like me and all the mistakes i’ve made, i have wished that i could go back in time and change the way i responded or acted or communicated; then i get started thinking that i should speak up and tell people the way i wish i would have done something differently; i’ve noticed that some people would appreciate this and others would not appreciate this; sometimes, i also feel as though it’s stupid for me to communicate with another by saying how i wish i would have acted differently and i fail to communicate with them for fear of how they will view me; i just tell myself – i will do it differently next time; even with this i continue to fail, i do some things differently, but i don’t do it perfectly; i’ve been changing . . . slowly and i find it l make mistakes; after some long and emotional talks – i’ve learned that some people just don’t want to think i can change – this makes me extremely emotional and i cry because i’ve let them down for so long; i found it difficult for me to hear “for so long you didn’t want to do that with me and now you do – that’s hard for me to believe” – how can you change if the other person doesn’t believe that you will change; i’m going to fail; i’m going to make mistakes; i’m going to disappoint you once again; my apologies for that, but please call me out; speak the truth to me with love and grace

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